Archive | January, 2014

Winter Boredom……… you hear it?

25 Jan

Its well after the holidays and I haven’t written for a loooong time. Just been too damn busy. I’m sure most of you are as done with winter as I am. I’m hoping the weather breaks soon because what you are about to read is kind of scary. This is what happens when one has been too busy for too long and hasn’t seen the sun or felt its warmth in too long. ¬†Its late evening after a long day, long, week, long ongoing winter…. and freeeeeezing outside.

DJ: Is it summer yet?

Joan: Not soon enough.

DJ: Brrrrrr

Joan: Ya. I’m so over winter.

DJ: Me too. Glad the roads aren’t freezing.

Joan: Are you running the roads?

DJ: Not really. I rescheduled everything. Just too nasty outside. Are you still covered up at the office?

Joan: Yes. Working way too hard/much these days. I’m in audit hell. Oh ya, and I still don’t have the Christmas tree boxed up.

DJ: Sounds like it sucks. Sorry. That damn tree!!

Joan: Yes damn tree. Its outta control. Just like everything else lately. I sure hope this isn’t some kind of new normal for me.

DJ: I know the feeling, but its not new normal for me.

Joan: Well, you know me…I’m not liking all this busy-ness. You on the other hand, love it!

DJ: I do like to stay busy. Sorry you are slammed.

Joan: I just want to be busy getting my hair done, and my nails done and laying on the beach!

DJ: Hell ya, me too!

Joan: I sound like a whiny slacker….oh wait…I am a whiny slacker.

DJ: Slacker for sure…..but you don’t whine much.

Joan: Not when I’m slacking. It takes too much effort.

DJ: There’s the sound of the slacker I know!

Joan: Sheeee’s back!……for the moment.

DJ: Nice to hear she is still in there.

Joan: She is never too far gone. Even when slammed at work.

DJ: Thats good. I’m ready for warm weather and to win the lottery.

Joan: Same here, except I would have to actually play the lottery in order to win.

DJ: Wait? I have to play?

Joan: No. You don’t. Because I’m going to win…..IF I play. The cosmos gave me the winning numbers.

DJ: Hmmmm. Are you out of medication?

Joan: Yes. Dammit. Oh…and I have lucky deer feet! So I am sure to win.


DJ: Why would you need to play the lottery if you have lucky deer feet?

(Note that DJ mentions  absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about this photo)

Joan: You are kinda right. I suppose I already have untold treasure.
Want to buy a deer foot? They are quite sought after. For you…. only 500k.

DJ: Do you foot financing? I hear they cost an arm and a leg.

Joan: haha…..just a leg…..4 actually. 4 legs for a foot. Great deal. Today only. Or…..2 for 19.95

DJ: Thats better than 19.99…..

Joan: You read correctly. 19.95 Don’t delay. They are going fast… a deer

DJ: Sorry. Too expensive for me.

Joan: Fine. Get yourself a lotto ticket then.

DJ: Fine. I just might.

Joan: You know what they say….Lucky deer foot is better than lotto ticket in hand. Yes. “they” say that!

DJ: I’ve heard that alot!!

Joan: I hear it all the time! I hear other things all the time though too….. damn “they”. This happens when I don’t take my medication. Or. When I do….I’m not sure.

DJ: I’m glad you hear them too.

Joan: Who? I don’t hear “them”. Its “they”. And I think “they” are crazy.

DJ: “they” may be?

Joan: Oh…. do you hear “they” and them too?
That IS crazy!

DJ: Who?

Joan: Exactly! Horton hears them too.

DJ: I’m glad you agree with Horton….who? Whoo.

Joan: I get it! A drink!

DJ: Drinking is good.

Joan: Well, I just pulled a beer from the back of the fridge and….ta da…its frozen! How appropriate.

DJ: Its a conspiracy.

Joan: “they” did it…. I’m sure of it.

DJ: “they” are everywhere.

Joan: I know! Thats why I hide from them. I mean “they”.
I think I may be getting carried away…..
Stop them!!! I mean “they”…. save yourself before “they” carry you away too….. and destroy my phone! No one will understand this.

DJ: I shall bring up a force against “them”, “they”,…..shanananbingham and save mankind.

Joan: Hooooray for they slayer!

DJ: Better than being a nay sayer.

Joan: Exactly…. or maybe I’m slurring….. Nay Sayer They Slayer….10 times

DJ: hahahah….I think “they” are in the Christmas tree too….Watch out!

Joan: Good possibility. Best to leave that thing alone I think.

DJ: Ya, I wouldn’t touch it if I were you. That’ll teach “them”

Joan: And yet. “they” might be better contained if I box them/they up and banish them/they to the garage.
The tree…may…be…the key

DJ: I don’t think you can contain “them”, but maybe “they”

Joan: Well, If “they” are gotten rid of, then I only have “them” to deal with. And I do not hear “them” so much. “they” are the menace.

DJ: Maybe….. you should see if “they” can get rid of “them”???? or visa versa

Joan: Brilliant idea! “they” can destroy “them” selves.

DJ: Yes!! Now…whats the plan?

Joan: The plan….is…………more beer slush

DJ: Best plan ever.

Joan: Done! Cheers!